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Michael Burgstahler @twotribes Stuttgart, Germany

Theoretical physicist gone designer since 1992. Founding member of @thevirtualbrain project, lover of everything @rikiki_bonjour does.

167 Following   665 Followers   23,914 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/27/09

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So my working theory is that if you assemble enough enterprise software ads, an airport spontaneously forms around them.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/26
2015
Never forget. http://t.co/WCagOkEEdU
4/25
2015
@ideamechanic I'm waiting for my Pulitzer in the mail.So… @verge cites me as a source in the Google Maps joke. Besides the Washington Post :P http://t.co/rjeOl7fPTp http://t.co/Bd9HhfnuMJ@sdw HackerNews found the guy who is responsible for this: http://t.co/GwdR3VccWGSo here's the guy who put the pissing Android in Google Maps. http://t.co/GwdR3UUBy6@grumpusnation Four legs, short fur, horns, mooing and you can turn them into bacon.@grumpusnation Vegetarians love it."Google review policy is crap." – another undesired easter egg on Google Maps. https://t.co/6K9HfZKLt5@GrumpusNation Freeze your bacon. http://t.co/pnt1mg32IK@harrymccracken One of the more popular luxury models, doing it for decades: The Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso http://t.co/5QcRZ0PsofHumor on Twitter, basically. http://t.co/r61RUjP32wGerman lesson: "Now we have the salad" = to be in trouble. "We have had pig" = to have good fortune. This explains a lot about German food.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerCan't wait to see my timeline turning into a blurry mess of hairy wrist photos over the weekend.
4/24
2015
If you record yourself saying "Apple", the waveform is the Voice Memos icon. http://t.co/oSvzE9UA1H
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler.@lukew @eeturaunio couldn't resist. Here you go! http://t.co/8GtdHL7CTW
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerModern usage of "monetization" is basically MBA jargon for "bait-and-switch".Japanese airline ANA launches R2-D2 plane livery. Awesome :P http://t.co/bW6K851AOj http://t.co/n6OK51dSxPHow software development works. http://t.co/sBCWM7tWVNHow to solve all smart watch problems http://t.co/1EZSNvanyH
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/23
2015
German sentence construction is like an interior design project: alter one tiny detail and the whole bloody thing needs to be rearranged.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerIf you overrule your designer because you really think you have better design ideas, then you should just fire that designer.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@asymco Roger McNamee, March 2009: "Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later." http://t.co/XSm77E9TqzTrack emoji usage on Twitter in realtime. Click on one to see the actual tweets using it 😜 http://t.co/FVWZqVdsFQIf you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@harryfk Definitiv! :)How to browse the mobile web: Navigate to site Close modal popup (if you can) Decline native app offer Close top banner Close bottom banner
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerFacebook organic page reach vs. stock price. Cruel. http://t.co/4R2DQ3sOOo http://t.co/nTTrXbszmF"…Facebook's success as a marketing tool is totally related to paid advertising and not at all related to 'conversations about brands.'""Social media promised us 'conversations' among our followers, and now only 1% of our followers are even seeing our Facebook posts.""The billion or so people engaged in social media want to engage with each other. Not ads, not brands, not you, not me."All Apple homepages from 1997 to today. https://t.co/tVXTrYh8oN /via @gruber http://t.co/Muaw9S5O9OAdmin, 4 weeks ago: "You know, we should do a server reboot test." Me: "<groans>… I have no time for this!" Tonight: Power failure :-P
4/22
2015
Scroll To Top-buttons suck. Here's the solution: http://t.co/DFpasrW0iu
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerLike Uber but for intellect.It's all terrible: "How Click Farms Have Inflated Social Media Currency" http://t.co/kdA0qWNjlw@swiftonsecurity Developers do actually age?2016 GOP Platform: ⛄>☀ 👬+❤=👎 🏥+💵=💀 🚀+🌏=❌ 🔫*🔫=🔫🔫🔫🔫 💰+💀=💯 ✔=🆔 🏣=👫👯👴👵👔 🎅🔫 📺+📶=😡 🔬+🐒=🚷 ☀-⛽=😈 🙍-💵=❌⛵ 📚+🔭+🎼=🙉
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler@tehgrumpydude Kind of. http://t.co/fuC0pf98Ia👍 http://t.co/HgWa9jJYXvThe entire software world would do well to think in terms of “complications” not “features”.
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerThe Flying Cars we were once promised. http://t.co/FMrNb0aNaS http://t.co/DFTnD2kTIhFlat design & responsive design are now joined at the hip and killing creativity. Another great piece by @eli_schiff. http://t.co/h91S26ibyG
Retweeted by Michael BurgstahlerCurrent status: http://t.co/DNUnuGwE8FWearables. Google vs. Apple. http://t.co/PF1jh7AnAo
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/21
2015
#nsfw Let's not forget that Jason Statham danced in a music video, oiled up and only in leopard underpants (0:35). https://t.co/X39CAaw3Gz
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/20
2015
What if Uber's entire $40 billion business is just one big legal mistake? http://t.co/Ao8yzbLpPI
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/18
2015
"Let's pretend that encryption backdoors are a great idea… what do we need to do to implement them" http://t.co/d01HLyKHAp"Escrow requires breaking changes to most encryption protocols; it's costly as hell; and it introduces many new security concerns."Current status: http://t.co/Cv205Yls11
4/17
2015
Facebook Analytics is a bad joke. Twitter Analytics is a decent one. I'm still searching for the punchline from Google Analytics.@janl My dad is over 70 and fixes WiFi channel conflicts on their home network all by himself.Nice. New Star Wars Teaser: "Chewie… we're old!" https://t.co/aZfeqewpnp"I'll fix it later." #famouslastwords@r00p Adorable :P http://t.co/Bn5Z2M0YIe"Which ad experience do you prefer?" http://t.co/11o0O1BTCn
4/16
2015
@swiftonsecurity Do you like oriental food?@rogerjohansson To most people, the keyboard is a feared manifestation of the paradox of choice.USA: So scared about terrorists that they spy on everyone's chat archive but drones + copters routinely land on high security areas.When you say "eventual consistency", I hear "It's broken sometimes". /cc @rands@edbott ExclushitFast, Good or Cheap. Pick any two. No actually just pick one. No, not that one.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler<tweets critically about online advertising> … "[User] has added you to the list 'Best Online Advertisers'" Welcome to Twitter.Funny how little talk there is about the actual acquisition cost for one new paying customer when judging expenses for online advertising.Big numbers (e.g. targeted reach) are shallow when you start applying typical response rates (i.e. 1%) for each step in the marketing funnelCalls from "cooperation partners" for agencies could be cut short by starting with the math: How much would I pay you for one new client?
4/15
2015
How to steal a session cookie, easily demonstrated. http://t.co/t9Pf6dciE3 /cc @SwiftOnSecurityPoint Blank, nicely shot. http://t.co/uGILpdYtQJ /cc @r00p<sends mail to client> <gets vacation auto-reply> "I will return at 12/31/2050" Never mind, wasn't so urgent anyway.The shortest-known Abstract for a serious scientific paper: only 2 words, at bottom. http://t.co/0WIIx3e0Ib
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler“How big should the team be?” “Seven Plus or Minus Three” http://t.co/5Q6CEsQJHl@thijs Yes. It felt like a neck-to-neck race btw Commodore + Atari when I was young. It was "inevitable" one of them would win.Perspective: PC market 1975-2005. http://t.co/pIdMdi0PpI /ht @thijs Now read @asymco again: http://t.co/5opmDVB7h1 http://t.co/66NW7fUVRg@thijs Very nice. I've used so many of these old boxes :)@thijs True. History is written by the victors.@thijs I think he included legacy OSes as well but they didn't move the needle in the diagram.Can't wait for Gartner and IDC figuring out how smartwatches must not be counted in platform statistics."But… but Apple, that's still such a niche system. Everyone uses Windows, right?" http://t.co/5opmDVB7h1Hillary Bold. Because, America. You're welcome. http://t.co/Y2HRzM4tMn
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/14
2015
@tehgrumpydude @getwired "Another reason why German software companies rules the worl… oh wait"@edbott http://t.co/L4zRU0ZB7U@tehgrumpydude @getwired Aw, sorry man… http://t.co/UWZpL8dG7a@getwired The best slideshows on Twitter today. http://t.co/jUxp3AdmtE“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”@thijs https://t.co/5j28XGu2OzI've seen toddlers in sandpits exhibiting more social maturity than some guys in tech reporting. #subtweet@counternotions Curiosity killed the cat. http://t.co/LH5UWdzScD
4/13
2015
Nice window display for the Apple Watch. http://t.co/x4CvXDFDcH /via @parislemon
4/12
2015
@alvar_f @spiegelonline Yep. Mit eingeschaltetem AdBlock lädt die Seite problemlos.@myprak @pmarca "How many photos have been taken?" https://t.co/hWEVonPlcG@enghlabs While I love my DSLR, taking "decent" shots does not only depend on the gear's capabilities but the attention for scene + light.@miggohoo Yes. Same w/ Samsung supplying the silicon or Nintendo + Microsoft caving and making apps for iOS. It's like a gravity well.@miggohoo Asian culture makes it hard 2 take a step back & ask what the product's job actually is. Doing _less_ in order 2 scale is intrepidCamera sales 1947-2014. Then you factor in smartphones. http://t.co/XC0kTtukp3 oops. http://t.co/7jUAjKMx2B
4/11
2015
Vacation Relaxation. http://t.co/e5UnDM52bV
4/10
2015
The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate.
Retweeted by Michael Burgstahler
4/9
2015
@grumpusnation Might even get an Oscar!@grumpusnation Watch Dorian Gray EditionThe Invisible Design Behind the Apple Watch’s Many Faces. http://t.co/W8eTcO9FAT"Alan Dye & his team can afford to spend months—years—developing watch faces to a level of detail and craftsmanship far beyond expectation…"
4/8
2015
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