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Luka Jones @lukajones Los Angeles, CA

fan of Earl Hofert - Instagram at http://t.co/hJyNDKxo4o

765 Following   4,648 Followers   2,013 Tweets

Join Twitter 12/14/09

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@jimmy_wales are you letting go of American citizenship?@meellisday big congrats@MrJakeJohnson my dad & I were at Wrigley when Sandberg got his MVP. Durham hit the 1st grand slam I ever saw there. Best park to grow up in@MrJakeJohnson @JoelEmbiid and thank you for your outstanding play at KansasI'm trying to get @Bergmaster5000 to tweet more. I want his beautiful mind recorded for all to study. Please encourage him with a follow.
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@NelsonFranklin BIG TIME GRAMSWeighed my nuts today. Feeling pretty good about that whole situation.Listening to comedians trying to have a serious intellectual conversation is often a lot like listening to academics trying to be funny.@emilyfaye2 Joaq & his gf maybe
@emilyfaye2 wriggle your way in there@stephsimbari thx godDoes anybody else ever touch their genitals in order to create a feeling of pleasure?Yes, I'm a big sexy bear. That doesn't mean you have free license to fondle me whenever you wanna. Ugh, women..@MoternMedia maybe but i mean over the history of the seriesDodgers - Giants is a more balanced and interesting historical rivalry than Yankees - Red Sox@DustinMartian legit brave
wow BOYHOOD is a genuinely beautiful film
being easily creeped out is a type of anxiety disorderjust watched a woman lightly and lovingly stroke her guy's chest and stomach area in public for like a minute, feel like I watched a handjobMyth: You use 10% of your #brain. Truth: You use ALL of your brain. Reveal the truth: http://t.co/kTILkS8MsY #LucyMovie
Retweeted by Luka Jonesgot a pink Dodgers hat bc fuck gender norms@AuntieQs coffeeComedians too often over-generalize about categories of ppl in a way that hurts their bits.@JoeMande you often remind me of a pre 9-11 DM (jk)@jeneelamarque @annethegreg #penectomy@literallyafool yeah then it's ok@yeslaurenevans sure. but if the models can act, i'm fine w iti prefer when they don't cast ppl who look like models as geeks in tv shows & movies
@frankieshawisag @jeneelamarque @stevenjberger sounds like a nice guy!Just ate a chunk of mushy strawberry from this popsicle and my brain is trying to convince me it was an insect and now I'm scared :(@jeneelamarque @stevenjberger omg that is crazy, must've felt so intense when they found outjust watched the Whitey Bulger doc and can't believe I lived in the same general neighborhood as that monster for five years in Santa Monica@MarlowNYC she is such a badass person@ArtHoward no way, totally socially safe@jackallisonLOL @jacobreed ookaayyy feminazi@jacobreed wait, you're not fucking sex dolls...are you??@jacobreed what's the diff yo #lolz #boobiesI feel like this top would look sexy on me too. Thoughts? http://t.co/0Wi65Rh4OC@AlisonAgosti @nickwiger dogs only believe in diagonals ive heard@thegynomite @midnight awesome@kumailn @midnight @nerdist @jonahray @thegynomite you guys rocked it hardcore@taliamcain yep just a still"I bet that feels great." -me to myself just now while looking at a pornographic photo
@ericjedelstein Solid article. Gonna buy the book now.@Just_For_Laughs @ChelseaVPeretti GO CHELS GO@girlwithatail stop being so hard on yourself! You're great!! :)@RyanWalshh @literallyafool either way I think s should start every tweet w "I need Marco to fuck me..."@6od lovin the ribs materialTo say of another person's view that it is false is consistent w being respectful towards them.@literallyafool I'd rather ppl use it more. It signals the right mental state.I made a TV show with my wife & my friends. It is called #TheMeltdown with Jonah & Kumail. It airs tonight on @ComedyCentral at 12:30 AM.
Retweeted by Luka Jones@Bergmaster5000 @nickthune @bradmorris773 I think Brad meant he had fucked a cat. Hope show went well. Go Broncos!HOF RB Marcus Allen says the Raiders need to move back to Los Angeles. READ: http://t.co/JHmaWf4RCJ http://t.co/35Y5zKtWBL
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@emilyfaye2 daisies@kumailn jk that sounds like a rough environment, sorry buddy@kumailn but it's weird that you're reporting it generally when it was you who said it@kumailn i KNEW it@DeeDeestanley that doesn't bother meTHE BYRDS 1967 'So You Want To Be A Rock 'n' Roll Star' http://t.co/0NvtNDoPodI don't like it when anybody asks me if another person is hot.@literallyafool nsb (no shame buddy)@literallyafool ikr
@literallyafool @anessweb I know right@JoeMande i do edgy material on twitter man@MrTonyHale @timothycsimons handsome then, handsome now@gsnair @AraAstourian @mistermyles_ it's all about making things salient fellas@JoeMande maybe "we're co-writing a pilot" would've been btr@rianjohnson beautiful@JoeMande I'm writing a pilot w him@kumailn what the HECK is a photo acct@georgiamischak I bet u guyz made out up thereNEW VIDEO Get Your Travel On: Paris Edition https://t.co/KCdd4wqNrr
Retweeted by Luka Jones@SarahKSilverman okay fine I'll watch@hordie no way jose@nickthune @brendonwalsh @Just_For_Laughs I agree, Nick. Sorry, Brendon. Hope we can still be friends. *kisses BW's mommy some more*him: "pee on me" her: "gross" him: "later" her: "wait.."@brendonwalsh @nickthune @Just_For_Laughs I'm at your mom's place blowing off some steam. Come over.@brendonwalsh @nickthune @Just_For_Laughs come at me motherfucker@brendonwalsh @nickthune @Just_For_Laughs *thisI just believe that there is something out there bigger than me. Like my fridge. Or every elephant. And Cleveland. Also, I am God.@nickthune @brendonwalsh @Just_For_Laughs these seems like a reasonable policy to me@DustinMartian @asdddsyk6raf same here@DustinMartian @asdddsyk6raf thx DM, I just blocked the account too. Its the timeline of a super sad person :(@julieklausner I went to BJ non-ironically@FranGillespie haha jk lolz@FranGillespie whoa@asdddsyk6raf okay buddyAmerican public, Pls demand more short television series w complex characters. They can be wonderful. Your bud, L PS - you have bad taste@ChelseaVPeretti i wanna sex tabs@NYKensington poor Ranger :(@hordie @MelissaStetten okay okay you're both the worst@meganganz @thehumphreyker this might be the secret to your blissmy hands are meatyThe Weird, Scary and Ingenious Brain of Maria Bamford http://t.co/5uYm7QwQvM
Retweeted by Luka Jones“@lukajones: @SelmaBlair finally somebody gets me”. It's like looking in the mirror.
Retweeted by Luka Jones
@AndyRichter @PeachCoffin what about Billy Tubbs@SelmaBlair finally somebody gets me“@lukajones: tasted fine to me http://t.co/azRUkVQBC5” right??
Retweeted by Luka Jones@brendonwalsh gross@DustinMartian magnolia
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