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Luka Jones @lukajones Los Angeles, CA

Kansas Jayhawks basketball fanatic & father of @mariannapalka

800 Following   4,912 Followers   2,932 Tweets

Join Twitter 12/14/09

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@benmiller deep & nuanced
10/20
2014
@benmiller Your view is false.(Elway > Farve) & (Manning > Farve)@gibblertron Weirdly, I use those exact terms with everybody in that type of situation."Erin Gibson, Luka Jones." How @lukajones says "hello" when you don't see him going up a flight of stairs.
Retweeted by Luka Jones@BDayBoysMitch @rachelrusch @JoeLewis @seanoconnz Agreed. Love it. Keep us in the loop. (I tossed some jelly on my pancakes today btw.)@BearDownPodcast @mrmattwalsh As a philosophical expert, I would say no he shouldn't have. Should've been dealt w before the game if at all.Watch the first episode HERE: http://t.co/bPnUHOo2rS and see why I look like a train wreck in… http://t.co/M3yO6eAJwi
Retweeted by Luka Jones@seanoconnz @brendonwalsh "exactly"@AuntieQs golden delicious apples & pecans
10/19
2014
Imagine someone asking to use your dildo for scratching their head. That is how I feel when someone asks to use my laptop to check email.@BearDownPodcast @mrmattwalsh Go Irish (so that when the USC Trojans beat them it looks better)@AnnaDokoza but the weather...@longlivescience i can't guess about the truth of that claim, but some of the stuff i've seen from him is bothersome@evanovix @cjwerleman agreed. consider that an inclusive 'or'@cjwerleman This is a really disingenuous tweet or you are seriously lacking in intelligence."It's the hard that makes it great." -me about my peepee@peteholmes It's a good thing, Pete!@kumailn Ok cool, I am so glad that you asked this question. Been wanting to get an audience for my answer on it for awhile. Dark mater is t.@thecomedybureau this will be great! http://t.co/x0wgO8bCKN 3 hours of improv talks for only $10. Thanks in advance for spreading the word!
Retweeted by Luka Jones@JoeLewis @rachelrusch @seanoconnz a beautiful, intelligent, funny man who happens to not be completely white@rachelrusch @seanoconnz @JoeLewis this has gotten outta hand. (thats something Rob Lowe's character from St. Elmo's Fire might say fyi)@JoeLewis @seanoconnz @rachelrusch bc PB&J feels like mommy holding baby you while you nurse oblivious to the suffering in store for us all.@IAmMaggieMull even non-lethal doses of cocaine??@rachelrusch @seanoconnz Thank you for the compliment!@seanoconnz @Braunger @rachelrusch I vote for naming him Luther, after MLK.@rachelrusch @seanoconnz keep em rolling!!@seanoconnz @rachelrusch Whoa buddy, sorry about your neck. I'm not joking anymore...That sucks...You are a pain in our neck. (JOKING AGAIN)@rachelrusch @seanoconnz I KNEW IT, RR! (You just admitted it with you joke.)@jlsnedegar Huge win, congrats. Just watched the 4th quarter. Love that they play John Denver after the game in Morgantown.@rachelrusch okayyyySolution to football's problems. Two-hand touch.@rachelrusch preggers@literallyafool I want them to win the east@jlsnedegar are you paying attn to this WVU-Baylor football game?@someofmybest yes we are@someofmybest poor single womenShaming people for being harmlessly weird is a moral crime.@Amandafunbuns @M_Blasucci dunno about dolphins in general, but yeah screw this lil fucker
10/18
2014
Subtweet: I hate only one former friend@M_Blasucci @Amandafunbuns (talkin bout the dolphin to be clear)@M_Blasucci @Amandafunbuns fuck this dickhead@campsucks not Charlie Rose@mariannapalka Break a leg, my sweet daughter! XoDon't fart on the escalator when someone is behind you and their face is level w your ass you freakin psychos!@mariannapalka damnnit, I'd forgotten about that. Ok fixed my bio.@mariannapalka gonna need a DNA test@mariannapalka agreed. If I discover I'm your father, I will.@SamFoxenBoyd Yes. Accidentally.It's 'gonna' not 'going to' you pretentious jackass.@jeneelamarque I thought you might be wondering.No matter who I ever ejaculate inside of I will never put 'Father' in my twitter bio.
10/17
2014
@swmacarthur total coincidence!@ArtHoward good callback. but it has nothing to do w this great and sophisticated city. just maybe personally time to move on for now.frances mcdormand is my dream person http://t.co/23G03oCzyz
Retweeted by Luka Jonesfor maybe the first time ever i feel like moving out of LA@lenadunham grilled cheese w ketchupSome of the emotionally darkest people I know generally adore dogs and hate people.One of the saddest things about ppl w low self esteem is that they don't wanna be seen for who they think they are.I will honestly never get over the fact that the automobile industry decided to start painting bumpers.I think I need a poop doula. :( :( :( :)@jackiecarbajal i didn't think you did.@jackiecarbajal ok, seen it though. cold/humid, overly macho, weirdly proud, gross accents/slang. but excellent unis/colleges & high culture@jackiecarbajal no i havent@jackiecarbajal i dunno. i haven't noticed that. but Boston grosses me out in a bunch of ways.genius actors can be analytically unintelligent@jackiecarbajal their accents make me wanna stick knives in my ears, so vulgar@jackiecarbajal (this is fun but boston talk is repulsive imo)@jackiecarbajal you been feedin your pussy retard sandwiches? cuz its retarded tight@jackiecarbajal You have a wicked awesome pissa
10/16
2014
The @Royals are getting it done. I'm happy for them, pulling for them & I'm wearing my jersey when they play. Go #Royals, you deserve it!
Retweeted by Luka Joneswait wait wait wait calling someone a butt muncher is an insult???@film114 That is very sad.Dave Brubeck just came on 88.1fm in LA and so I know it's gonna be a groovy drive.I am very excited for Michael Keaton.Economic Scene: The Price of Water Is Too Low http://t.co/r7rAy6xziy
Retweeted by Luka Jones@girlwithatail big mistake
10/15
2014
eating a tuna sub at Dagwood's and identifying more than ever before w the narrator of the song "Hotel California"Martha Nussbaum explains what having an unsedated colonoscopy taught her about her body: http://t.co/Bt0YMgxDbT
Retweeted by Luka Jones
10/14
2014
this makes me think of @JoeMande http://t.co/kyXyskRpJY@andyrosebrook I think I see. Yeah I hadn't heard of CJW before this thread.loving the LA uniforms the Rams are wearing@andyrosebrook Gotcha. So you're comparing Aslan to this Werleman guy? Sorry, I'm not completely getting how the exchange relates to Aslan.@andyrosebrook I don't understand. Is this public?@andyrosebrook yeah the Harris debate was part of what motivated me to tweet that@AraAstourian I agree. But public remarks and misrepresentations can put someone like Harris in greater danger, security-wise.@AraAstourian I won't guess where the RT is coming from. You may be right. But I don't think that would justify it.@AraAstourian yeah I saw that. I think he does a nice job defending himself against the misleading tweet he's talking about (with the quote)@AraAstourian yeah I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts@AraAstourian check it out if you're bored. The Sam Harris stuff is happening right now due to that segment on Bill Maher's show@AraAstourian (2/2) that seem off, including the way he handled his first splash w Fox Nws. But mostly I dont like how he is wrt Sam Harris.@AraAstourian I've heard some interviews, read some of his stuff, & watched him do an interview live. There are a few things for me (cont.)"On the Mechanics of Defamation": http://t.co/UmVWOKNQCV Please read and forward this.
Retweeted by Luka JonesReza Aslan has an intellectually dishonest vibe to him, in my opinion.@sergiocilli you son of a bitch@SaraJBenincasa this tweet implies that burnt farts smell bad@rezaaslan @DylanBasescu @VidaStarr @CNN perhaps one good way to put it is that atheism is a view that is consistent w many belief systems@rezaaslan @SaraJBenincasa @jamiekilstein @allisonkilkenny this is a gross tweetmy dong is too big :(@girlwithatail atta girl! Nice & light! That's more like it :) :)
10/13
2014
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