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James Iry @jamesiry San Francisco, CA

Some people when faced with a problem think, I know, I'll use distributed computing. Now they have n^2 problems. I corral Cascading cats at Concurrent.

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Join Twitter 1/15/09

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@robey @viktorklang that font makes me long for the quiet elegance of Comic SansTraditional Thanksgiving songs. Here comes fat turkey, right down roasting pan lane. Oh cranberry sauce. Have a holly jolly stomach ache.@marius I'm pretty sure all the scrolling and blinking are commandments from Satan.Spice up your Thanksgiving with a Cthurkey http://t.co/QwcRIkgO3rfun example of the kind of bug that happens at facebook's scale: https://t.co/TZRKhUnqop
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@jamesiry Too good to be true… http://t.co/FedCjx7UNs http://t.co/yWIj4Dn2ha
Retweeted by James IryLate 1960s, Economy Class Seating on a Pan-Am 747 http://t.co/evhvXCnwVY
Retweeted by James Iry@built Be brave in your branding: let Godwin be your copilot.AT&T U-Verse VAP2500: The Passwords, They Do Nothing! http://t.co/0dhCcGGBLZ
Retweeted by James Iry@laurencetratt My understanding is CLOCK_MONOTONIC is always monotonically increasing, it just may change frequency.I know the difference between "repeatable read", "read committed", and "snapshot isolation." Or thought I did until http://t.co/p7O6QBHBtNDo you really know what guarantees transactions provide? Hermitage: Testing the "I" in ACID http://t.co/bkrf4LuhTN cc @pbailis @aphyr
Retweeted by James Iry@jamesiry On a related note: Q: What's the best anagram of "Banach-Tarski"? A: "Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski"
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I thought Banach-Tarski was bullshit until I tried to put something back into its original box.cron-ically impossible to remember scheduling syntax.Less is more…more or less.@msimoni Wait…we're hating algebraic structures now? I'm going to hate semi-groups today.
[phone rings]"Hi! I bought a laptop for $500 and it came with so much free software!" "Oh. Mom, I don't think I'm coming home for Christmas"
@rit "Quantity has a quality all its own"Not allowed in the gym any more because I dropped a cheeseburger on the elliptical. Manager wouldn't even listen to how I saved the fries.ESPN gives Keith Law a Twitter suspension for defending evolution to Curt Schilling: http://t.co/otZtvhj4zz
Retweeted by James IryFund my working class ride share. I call it The Prolechariot.
Retweeted by James Iry"Are you now or have you ever been an Agilist?" "Senator, I must plead my fifth…" "It's a simple question." "Under advice of my attorney…"Which way the toilet paper should roll is the emacs vs vi of married life.@campster LudoSJW, plzI know how to make an Instagram: just add one cubic centimeter of water.@samth Haha, poor @raganwald . Writing for a nerd audience is hard.“Lisp did it first and better.” “Smalltalk did it first and better.” I’m going to troll folks by referring to them as “Betamax Languages.”
Retweeted by James Iry@raganwald It's a problem that programming creates, not OOP: too many symbols for our puny primate brains to keep track of and spell right.@raganwald I know. I used VisualAge for Java back in the day and the STers frequently told me how much it sucked compared to VA for ST.@raganwald I think I'm more arguing with the "solving a problem it creates" statement.@raganwald WAT. Autocomplete was first done in Smalltalk environments. So static types are neither the problem nor only solution.This new directory structure will restore your faith in humanity! #buzzfeedcommitlogs
Retweeted by James Iry10 code style fails that will keep you laughing! #buzzfeedcommitlogsThe botched merge that will tug at your heart strings! #buzzfeedcommitlogsTwo different styles of indentation met for the first time in this codebase. What happened next is inspiring. #buzzfeedcommitlogs
Retweeted by James IryA programmer finds a secret to fixing a failing test! #buzzfeedcommitlogs12 refactorings that will blow your mind! #buzzfeedcommitlogsThere was a race condition in user account updates. You won't believe what happened next! #buzzfeedcommitlogsFunctional vs OOP patterns. #buildstufflt http://t.co/mAN2rfgGm2
Retweeted by James IryI know I'm late to the party on #FeministHackerBarbie, but honestly this is my favourite thing ever now http://t.co/Xmc7wKp3LJ
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Just in case you weren’t sure whether there was anything you couldn’t find on the internet: http://t.co/xrDpO8zOvQ
Retweeted by James IryI get units wrong at least 75° of the time.@rit "You have experience with build tools such as grunt, gulp, or ant" http://t.co/sDz9ckI0Gw
Retweeted by James IryMassive East Coast Snowstorm #Eclipsed By Harrowing #Drizzle in Bay Area
Retweeted by James Iry@extempore2 Not true. I can read Vines.@extempore2 An autobiography that will only be available in audio form?That we use a soft fluffy white cloud to represent something has hard and messy as distributed computing shows that we appreciate irony.Has "how hard could it be?" ever been asked non-rhetorically? Because I always answer as if it weren't.@built Push code tonight, no bullshit.Well that's weird. Mattel just introduced Computer Engineer Ken, who also can't program but costs 20% more.
Retweeted by James IryI hate when people use big words they don't understand just to make themselves sound more homotopy.Finds book about "modern C++".Hmm, look, modules are still done with preprocessor textual inclusion. Checks copyright date for mistake. NopeAfter 20 pages of difficult and laborious proof there was a surprise twist: the answer to P≟NP was in our hearts all along.@built We use matching algorithms from OkCupid to form our engineering teams. The teams are very cohesive but strangely little work is doneOn Tuesday the universe violently imploded when Tom googled himself and found a video of himself googling for himself and finding a video of@KYouell @jamesiry all I'm saying is that you could swap Pooh with Phillip Seymour Hoffman from Boogie Nights.
Retweeted by James IryOH: "Oh right, Scala is actually a programming language, not just a DSL for MapReduce"
Retweeted by James IryI confess, I laughed. #css http://t.co/tAPYGGISyc
Retweeted by James Iry@nuttycom Let me set your expectation: you'll only stop hearing it when it passes out of favor for an equally annoying phrase.Several ladies congratulated Samuel Johnson on his new dictionary skipping foul words. He congratulated them on being able to look them up.Is it a drug or is it a Pokemon? http://t.co/JHwvn3UAX9On my cynical days I'm convinced that this is why they call it "revolution" http://t.co/Jz3BTlwNTwIt's kinda refreshing when it isn't Americans being apeshit reactionary http://t.co/kxic58tFUIHermaphrodite Pooh http://t.co/vsASBPxGmU
Retweeted by James Iry@raganwald Coprophilia? I don't give a shit.@gclaramunt I've a eventually consistent one. Writes go to /dev/null and reads come from /dev/random, eventually you'll get what you wrote.
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OH: Bacon wrapped hotdogs are just like corndogs except you feed the corn to a pig first.NVIDIA's Tesla K80 @ 8.74 TFLOP in 2014 beats the world's fastest supercomputer from 2001.
Retweeted by James Irypoc_or_gtfo.png http://t.co/Wk62FhDqjv
Retweeted by James Iry@migueldeicaza Looks similar in spirit to http://t.co/WnswbdY4qK .The FISA court asks Yahoo how their users could be hurt by surveillance. After all its not like they'd ever find out. http://t.co/WdHd6xWbO6
Retweeted by James Iry@munificentbob Dude, you're so metal. You have an umlaut!
@extempore2 Be the dependency you want to see in your project.@extempore2 I am my dependencies.Watch This Guy Sculpt A Spider In Mid-Air Using An Oculus Rift @suzannelabarre #VR http://t.co/1Rev7TQI47 http://t.co/QqcUEwVrQ1
Retweeted by James IryDoes the literary advice "show, don't tell" mean we should all just write with emojis?Programming is like http://t.co/nzOXwe3Hl4
Retweeted by James Iry10 Hard Lessons I Learned from Starting Precog: http://t.co/NNmWmYVTeL, and on my blog: http://t.co/lSDnSU5kOJ
Retweeted by James IryCurrent status: confused by Flow's user guide branded as "language reference." http://t.co/JqLcmOUdm3Great comedy sketch: What if in person meetings were like conference call meetings? https://t.co/uHExTqKWzW #WeHaveAllBeenThere
Retweeted by James IryI prefer doing concurrency over security. Concurrency's enemy is the random universe. Security's enemy is deliberately malicious humans.German village plays prank on neo-Nazis http://t.co/uro1AmZoT1
Retweeted by James Iry@viktorklang ABC -> Always Be CodingIt's funny because it's true. http://t.co/kELPEpBS71
Retweeted by James IryMy take on the science in #Interstellar, ranked from totally plausible to “you’d definitely need aliens for that” http://t.co/eiYWjgm3KW
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Yesterday Henry and Lisa Wong tried to raise an undead creature in Britain but failed. Proving yet again that two Wongs can't make a wight.@sw17ch @deech I say we take off and SIGKILL the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.If you smoke a pavement joint, don't go for a bike ride. http://t.co/W5kI5teyeO
Retweeted by James IryMy guess for the reason this isn't working is that this neural network is self aware and is actively messing with me
Retweeted by James Iry@raganwald I was following @sharonw before it was cool.When the machines rise to destroy us I'll probably just be standing around saying "ooh, cool robots."This is pretty good. If I ever introduce anyone else to Star Wars, "Machete Order" is how I'll do it. http://t.co/5sUU3irpME
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“How could you know one of them is infinite but not which one?” Colbert is clearly an intuitionist. http://t.co/tCBSKzbKW1
Retweeted by James Iry@dsyme @rickasaurus https://t.co/DRL3fBwqAz@dsyme Not dying. Going to sleep. Game on @rickasaurusShhhh everyone.... shhhhhh...... Sleep well, little one, we'll wait for you to wake... http://t.co/4TT4Si18cX
Retweeted by James IryBut, but ... Bottom left pic shows bus voltage plunging. We can die in any moment now. So sad. #Philae #CometLanding http://t.co/JPMqLFrhlx
Retweeted by James IryScientists confirm: to become a sexy man people adore, you need only reply to all jokes with a more obvious, less funny version of the joke.
Retweeted by James IryApparently @Philae2014 successfully drilled the comet. Is no place safe from big oil?
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