::a rat a tat tat:: oneninehundredcake on instagram
"What happens with the fragments of the discontinuities when they are presented in a nontraditional text?" -girl at cafe Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
it's lonely beer/leggings night@GayCityNews @TheRealEllenD pps i am not even playing ellen. i play the baby. not to get @usweekly involved@GayCityNews @TheRealEllenD gotta defend those demonsi am sitting in a haunted apartment in my new knock-off cuddl duds. #auntjo@GayCityNews @TheRealEllenD technically Ellen is not the villain in the show. She has a complicated relationship to capitalism and babies.
Some people treat Santa like he's a baby. For instance, these lyrics: He's a great big bundle of joy Is this fair? Exploitive?
So sick of punishing myself for not understanding the circle of fifthsI have a cruel amount of Christmas spirit inside of me right now@NOTCHRISTYLER @EricShethar @dereksasquatch we don't need a grant. We've got crumpled up paper!@billycheer there's a cute way to force them to make the decision themself@NOTCHRISTYLER @dereksasquatch Whoah its 100% full fledged lezi know when to take a gchat off the record
@perfectlildani spoiler alert
@ErinMarkey i have a peg on the top of my skull that's perfect for hats and helmets, & i can hold scepters and wands in my rod hollowed palmhey, listen. if you need any help revitalizing american theater, i'm your lego.you may or may not know i'm playing a lesbian with no hands in a live theatrical experience similar to #PeterPanLive http://t.co/heEBnGP9Cb
I cannot delete my #peterpanlive tweets fast enough
"i don't need to see you're listening" -Becca Blackwell's notes for WendyWendy:Bathtub::Sylvia:Oven@realleadelaria you are the ultimate hookI invite Minnie Driver to narrate the pharmacist notes on the topical steroids prescribed to treat my psoriasis@bridgeteverett Holy fuck idk but I will go head and cast my mom as smee@bridgeteverett I'm satisfied with walken and Julia roberts@bridgeteverett toward ointb?@LeeHouck yup she would be a great hookU r wasting my time schmeeWhy isn't the cast the orange is the new black playing these pirates MAY I ASK@captaindingbat yes mamaSo terrified I'm actually more of a wendyI'd do anything. Train my dad to be a news anchor. Whatever it takes.It would be my great honor to lose 30 pounds to play the role of peter pan
Just tindr-ing with a bag of naval oranges outside Dixon Place!
@BSWFilm reeeeal cute
I'm the non-equity deputy. Come to me with your complaints.
Tindr Famous This T-gives
At the march. Its awesome but a bunch of white dudes are leading the "hands up/don't shoot" chant and I'm like...
@captaindingbat sally fields in Mrs Doubtfireif i cut my hair do i ruin me forever
Peak whenever feels good
I took a Plan B once and felt nothingwhat if you put chapstick all over your upper lip and ate a clementine cutie? we would be twins
One little text inviting u to see sideshow and suddenly u are rich
Does this McGriddle make my Christmas List look big?Give sweating the small stuff a fair chance
@SAWdesignBK i have always wanted to perform that courtroom monologue at the end. need you to sign off on it thougham i making this up or is there a scene in patch adams where somebody swims in noodles@JasperRedd your Grimace jokes are making me diiiie@comcomJo it was a candid shot I took of the inside of the rice grainLast night I found the necklace with my name written on grain of rice that I got in myrtle beach in 1996. http://t.co/lk07RF1NXH
A Kinsey scale but with The Little Mermaid on one side, Phantom of the Opera in the middle and Twin Peaks on the other
Wet boas everywhere
This tweet goes out to the girls that take the escalator stairs 2 at a time at Forever 21 on a Friday night. Wassup, babyDidn't realize how much I missed Mambo No. 5 til I waited in line at DSW to buy discount leggings.@jillpangallo is a human geniusWondering if anybody coming to the show tonight has access to the best caramel apples in NYC and could bring an extra for me. I have Reese's@inklines @JoesPub That's what z saidWant to tell my 9 yr old self (dressed as a Xmas present) that I will spend a future Halloween as a raging homophobe on stage at @JoesPub .
If I wanted a cat I would name it cheap umbrella@captaindingbat as u wish@ErinMarkey Allow me to amend. I'm going as a mature adult who thanks her busdriver 3 times for waiting while she finds her 7 day MetroCard@ErinMarkey Strike that. I'm going as a woman who joyously takes yellow cabs and who doesn't watch the route on her cracked droid@ErinMarkey Actually no. I'm going as a punishment that fits the crime.For Halloween I'm going as a gal who treats herself to moving supplies from Home DepotQuit harassing me I'm a human beanDJ Murphy Bed ExpressAnna Wintour spotted outside of Koffeecake Corner acting like she's not #AnnaWintour http://t.co/sGAzwEQRtmFailure is huge right now. I feel so alive
felt somewhat relevant when NYPD called me about line of baking soda I pretended to do off of a baby's stomach as an unpaid actress 1 yr agomay i kickstart you
@FeldmanAdam Sad face was for Jan. I am complimented for sure!
@FeldmanAdam :). :(I'm hungry but I'll have time to eat when I'm deadThis stranger baby will never remember that I watched him while his mom was peeing in a coffeeshop but I will remember it for hours.
I just made sprite. It was so easy. Recipe passed down from my freezer: 2L sprite + ice cubes* *Ice cubes: frozen bits of compost + water
I like it when the hulu guy just says real straight-up: Presented by Reese's Peanut Butter Cups b/c that's how I feel about everything.
my parents never taught me how to breakdance so whenever I get that urge I just hit "Reply All" til everybody starts clapping in unison."A radiator is not a table" remarked the smug cup of coffee as it relaxed onto the floor.
Hungry Butts Eat Sweatpants