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“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

143 Following   50 Followers   2,539 Tweets

Join Twitter 10/12/09

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@oliviamunn Crap! See I already have bleeding ribs but my bleeding rib medication cured my depression and I need that to kill myself. o0@oliviamunn How is "Bleeding ribs" preferable to anything? o0 If you got bleeding ribs you got problems.
7/29
2014
As time goes by, humans are becoming less and less empathetic. Today, we care about others 40% less than people in the 1980s did.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
7/22
2014
@ivymow7 Happy BIRTHDAY!!!! I miss your face...it clams my rage. o0
7/20
2014
Obviously AIDS has learned how 2 use surface 2 air missiles & have launched a counter attack, we should all be scared http://t.co/MKPVWsbbza
7/19
2014
"@UberFacts You can electrically shock a person's brain to greatly improve their math skills for up to 6 months." I need this.
7/13
2014
15 Incredible Lamps You Can Actually Make On Your Own. Is #4 Amazing Or Just Creepy? ---> http://t.co/cMiZGtiIx0 http://t.co/Jad8tc2ONK
Retweeted by JaysonTeller@ivymow7 Aw I missed purple hair? Damn! and yeah my blue faded just as fast.
6/27
2014
45 of the 50 most dangerous cities in the world (ranked by murder rate) are in America.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
6/23
2014
You mustn't always believe what I say. Questions tempt you to tell lies. ~ Pablo Picasso http://t.co/K0LRnCeEpL
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
6/18
2014
"we are all just sentient jelly piloting a bone-mech."
6/15
2014
I just stepped on a bee that was in my house, fucker stung my toe, all bees must die. http://t.co/pzwlt4E1rD
6/3
2014
@ivymow7 Practice@UberFacts That's not true...they don't know for sure what it meant.@ivymow7 Hammertime
5/31
2014
@OfficialKat @UberFacts Never cites its sources
5/30
2014
@ivymow7 Eat the rich! https://t.co/TrXG7dfmro
5/24
2014
Im back from the depths of no internets...omg its beautiful!
5/23
2014
@Hillmajesty its the Jews ear juice...it's filled with vitamins
5/12
2014
I feel like I spend most of the day charging shit...I even charge my cigarettes now o0 #oneplugtochargethemall@DaneCook #somethingweird o0 http://t.co/ISjo0neTIZ@DaneCook #somethingweird Dangerous? http://t.co/7FU51EJY4w@mtkayyye I WANNNA SEEEEEEE!@DaneCook #somethingweird whaaa? http://t.co/U6QS5funIq@DaneCook #somethingweird This wins http://t.co/ZS6xJLx1ru@DaneCook This wins http://t.co/2HabC8Kqf4
5/10
2014
"Fuck it - I'm eating babies, this is bullshit." - Louis CK.
5/7
2014
@ivymow7 Your cats drunk
5/3
2014
This was my Barney growing up >:) https://t.co/GFSsKfWdub
4/30
2014
I stalked a stalker once. No one out creeps this guy.@ivymow7 I enjoy watching that movie just cuz I love it when Rose is like, "i'll never let you go" and then dumps his frozen corpse :P@oliviamunn Just saw Robocop, u know its good when u walk around the house making robot sounds, tell your man he did a good job :P
4/29
2014
@mtkayyye Lucky goose :PI love red heads but the thought of having ginger children >< god forbid it was a boy...Id leave him out in the cold for the white walkers
4/28
2014
Elephants kill more than 500 people every year. They have been known to also rape and kill grown rhinos.
Retweeted by JaysonTellerI just pored chunky milk into my coffee ><@ivymow7 Dun be sad Ivy
4/26
2014
There is a pig sleeping in my flower bed.... I just shit my pants smoking outside in the dark.The U.S. has 115,000 janitors, 83,000 bartenders, 323,000 restaurant servers, and 80,000 heavy-duty truck drivers with bachelor’s degrees.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
4/25
2014
@ivymow7 http://t.co/nPt5aBjSrPBeing funny isn't as useful as being the one who laughs. 4 Shocking Psychological Dark Sides of Being Funny - http://t.co/aedJWpw7CV
Retweeted by JaysonTellerVaginas stay lubricated with a substance called "squalene" - This can also be found in the livers of sharks.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
4/21
2014
Sperm is highly effective at treating wrinkles - Many anti-aging products are using materials similar to sperm because of how well it works.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
4/18
2014
@ivymow7 She is really lame. I mean Ive never met her but thats prolly cuz she is so lame and I can't be around that.It's just too mch lame
4/17
2014
@DoubleSixx Same :(GO AWAY CLOUDS! i WANT TO SEE THE BLOOD MOON TONIGHT! I DIDN'T GET THIS GOAT 2 SACRIFICE FOR NOTHING! #WASTATESUXFORRITUALSARIFICES
4/14
2014
@ivymow7 @wynterhanson NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
4/13
2014
Man I wish I was at Coachella right nowOrganic and nutritious food actually costs about 10 times as much as candy and junk food.
Retweeted by JaysonTellerhttp://t.co/E20kbNWCsMOver $43 billion worth of unopened, edible food is thrown away in the U.S. every year.
Retweeted by JaysonTellerBeware of Vending Machines! 25 Real Facts That Make Common Fears Way Less Scary - http://t.co/iRlF4md4pa | http://t.co/RzElSn0xoV
Retweeted by JaysonTeller“When you learn to love hell, you will be in heaven.” —Thaddeus Golas
Retweeted by JaysonTellerThis is both racist and creepy. http://t.co/K7j7KHFMzW@ivymow7 Welcome to insomnia land, My name is Jay, I'll be showing you to your insanity... This way please.@ivymow7 But if you stay awake Santa Clause will never come....
4/12
2014
@ivymow7 Hey if you find some beer you got a party!https://t.co/xDelg8IgmZ@ericach0 Ok but how long do I have to keep them crossed? I have to do homework.@ericach0 Good job! congratz
4/11
2014
Due to the warming of the oceans and higher temperatures, crabs are in Antarctic waters for the first time in 30 million years.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
4/10
2014
Silicone Valley is my new favorite showWorlds Cutest Frog #GirlPorn https://t.co/Hz0g5HqHxP@ivymow7 Whats the medication?@ivymow7 Says the girl who just changed her hair :PKinetic light sculptures created by British artist + physicist, Paul Friedlander http://t.co/C0LgTkaM0w #modern #art http://t.co/kHDME291Tq
Retweeted by JaysonTellerEspañol chupa tanto las bolas
4/9
2014
Words of wisdom from my favorite childhood comic. http://t.co/bvZ4wujgcL
Retweeted by JaysonTeller@ivymow7 You got a sun burn in this? You Irish?
4/7
2014
The average human body contains enough fat to produce 7 bars of soap.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
4/6
2014
The more attractive a woman is, the more impaired the brains of surrounding males become.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller@ericach0 Girl porn@ivymow7 gnight Miley err i mean Ivy :P
4/5
2014
http://t.co/jo8vmWCEeYhttp://t.co/pJQPhaucQZHow do people this stupid exist? lol http://t.co/GpzqefOZEp@JamesFrancoTV 100,000 teenage girls want you to tongue-punch their fart-boxhttp://t.co/AZg0FqHPulFuck i am addicted to smoothies@ivymow7 wow 0o@ivymow7 Welllllll???Smiling immediately releases endorphins in your body, changing your mood and relieving stress.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller@ivymow7 Good luck
4/4
2014
@ivymow7 Unless your doing a pixie u might look cute with a pixie@ivymow7 Don't cut it too short >< Good luck!@Kris561_ @midnight how can this be anything other than awesome lolz https://t.co/jUE5TYM6G9@NathanFillion Have u ever "tongue-punched a fart-box?FYI @JamesFrancoTV also tried to pick me up on Instagram, he said he wanted to "tongue punch my fartbox" #CreeperStrawberries + Blue berries + black berries + banana + water melon + cantaloupe + Almond Silk + blender = Epic smoothie awesomeness
4/3
2014
"Ut I'm the neighbor & I yell at my kids all day" Thanks ass hole, that's another person I have to worry about robbing me in 10 years.
4/2
2014
Made Rum smoothies, why drink on a weekday? Cuz sometimes you gotta throw some rum in that bitch.@ivymow7 1st day of Spanish class the prof. tells us to go on break in Spanish and everyone awkwardly leaves cuz they din know what he meant
4/1
2014
I saw 2 dead animals on the side of the road but it was still a good day, not for them, but for me it was. :D50,000 people in line to buy books, fuk that mess.Singapore has the world’s highest percentage of millionaires. One out of every six households has at least $1,000,000 US dollars.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller@ivymow7 NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOMA 4 second awkward-silence in conversation creates feelings of rejection in the brain.
Retweeted by JaysonTeller
3/31
2014
@ivymow7 eeeesh ><
3/29
2014
@ivymow7 Next time don't get so lippy and these kinds of things wont happen :PSo true lol http://t.co/UBHVvUq7J5
3/28
2014
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