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.“@TStiffSports: If you were at a karaoke bar and had to sing a song, what song would you sing?” Something by three door down they are greatWhy don't they ever show the fourth quarter of hockey games.“@ChristineHookEm: any chance we sport these this year? http://t.co/OftEmWYmqq” Is that a peekachoo pok-e-mom. “@IPutMyHornsUp: How are u going to celebrate St. Patrick's this year?” U talking about Leon Patrick who used to hang at Eric's Billiards.“@tonymataya: Coach how many scholarships does Baylor have to use on a 410lb TE?” Only one but they will get it back when he dies of fat.“@Katie_BBFan: Coach, you may want to take a step back from social media.” I do not have friends.@CoachSumlin are you on the recruiting app tinder or the other recruiting app grinder bc you should be lots of very fit athletes on thereI am now on the new recruiting app tinderIs chappie a documentary about breakdancing.“@TexBornNRaised8: Is this how Malik look when he's mad? http://t.co/hh5lxKIOTP” No that is him when he sees you and goes in for a hug.“@cbanks800: do you know what's going on here https://t.co/8aFLMhHR2r” Boop boop boop
I have strong fingers.“@TexBornNRaised8: Coach is there weight limits on jets? http://t.co/iCILojOJmY” Is that cheech
.“@Katie_BBFan: Sumblin is up to something bad. A donut texas flag. http://t.co/qPpWAp2tie” Chileans love donuts is sumblin a chilean.“@CoachBedfordUT: Just had a donut” You think you know someone.@TexAgs DOES HONEY HAVE SUGAR IN IT I AM FREAKING OUT EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE.@TexAgs how am I supposed to tell if these mushrooms are moldy or just being themselves
.“@ryanjlee_13: Where is aggy? http://t.co/bUtQ9T4Ye3” On the list of top six SEC West teams.@CoachSumlin I started wearing doctor dre beats around my neck at all times I think theyre a type of stethoscopes anyway recruits love em.“@CoachBedfordUT: Looking for a good donut in Austin” I trusted you.“@bfolsom18: big question Whataburger or In and Out?” I think you have the wrong number you were trying to call that old Sumblin.“@bambrown58: what do you know about the Branch Davidian in Waco?” When I have a question about branches I ask texags.“@TStiffSports: Coach are you and @terrycrews related? http://t.co/ru78fvfYWc” No I mean look at him he's always angry & I'm always happy.“@Katie_BBFan: What is going on here?? http://t.co/L2VWpVFnLZ” That is Tyrone lannisters on a dragon from game of throne.“@WWMcClyde: YESSIR! http://t.co/Ee2veDl5E9” Are you trying to kill me
.“@DEDD1588: do Aggies celebrate Texas Independence Day?” No because they are not in Texas they are in SEcTexas has a birthday. The Oklahoma territories do not.Today is the birthday of Americas first state, Texas.
.“@stacksdahouse: what u think? http://t.co/AvwWgp13L7” I say if two people love each other why should anyone stand in the way.“@TStiffSports: If someone were to play you in a Hollywood movie, who would it be and why?” I would have to say Phillip Seymour Hoffmans.“@Katie_BBFan: Coach, how do you feel when you see this picture? http://t.co/5m40L1o08L” It was a great honor to coach VY to a championship.“@TexBornNRaised8: How about it Coach, yes? http://t.co/Zk2VAVJ321” Is that one of those longhorn helmets you can buy at wallgreen
.“@VincentMannnnnn: What color is it?” gold and black.“@IPutMyHornsUp: Do you wash your head with shampoo or soap?” My head produces natural self cleaning juices.“@VincentMannnnnn: Coach, is it cold today?” IT'S NOT COLD I am wearing a Llama coat.“@jeffbeckham: Hey how are those youngsters handling the cold today at Junior Day?” Don't know I'm inside.“@BradMoczygemba: Fixed your slide show! http://t.co/JjQHdWQ6SD” Hey I own my resume unlike some people http://t.co/kG2jA1Oj1g.“@RenegadeHorns: check out my new shirt! http://t.co/EhGm6Lyevq” Does it come in ripped sleeve polo or mock turtleneck.@TAMU knock knock who's there chabis chabis who you just got served with a lawsuit.@TAMU remember that time you hired that old pizza chef john chabis from LSU and then he sued you I do.@TAMU #WeRunFromThisTrademark
RIP that old Spock "Live Long and Proper".“@Big_KTURN: Hey Coach do snowflakes fill up a lake faster than rain drops?” How big are the snow flakes.“@Jason_Long: @TTUKingsbury Just know Coach Strong's workin' out, runnin' and diagraming plays son.” All true except I don't diagram plays.“@TexBornNRaised8: Coach is Speckled Trout in your diet? http://t.co/bql94f1LBk” I'm gonna be honest with you that is a nice fish.“@kdrobbins: Hey what is this mascot? http://t.co/bNRNdy7AQl” Is that Keibler Sutherland from lost boys.“@Katie_BBFan: Coach, did you and Malik have fun sledding?” He decided to get his hair done instead so I went alone and sat on a hill.“@theryanhoffman: coach, what color is this dress? Gold and white or black and blue? http://t.co/qpqLviuap6” That is a crispy wafer cookie.“@Hornson6th: who scares you more: frank underwood or pat moorer?” Nobody scares me except mind readers.“@Katie_BBFan: Maybe you need a family of mongoose? http://t.co/9Y9Ye5Ocoy” Those are raccoon
.“@wright_maddie: is going to #projectprincessbenefitconcert” There is only one princess in my life and it is my future mongoose Scorpius.“@bfolsom18: they even made their own highlight tape with to DMX https://t.co/T0jkhZ7OQ0” is that real can llamas fly.“@bfolsom18: you should start recruiting those 2 llamas before Sumblin gets them http://t.co/qkOCkwOSeD” Llamas are just sheep w gigantism.@TexAgs I have two dogs but I would like to also have a mongoose named Scorpius.“@stuleach: Would you consider coaching basketball as well?” No I only coach sports.“@SandlinMatthew: remember when we met Coach? http://t.co/0tq2NJTREo” Yes I loaned u my cargo pants I need those back by the way.“@IPutMyHornsUp: Who's funnier, you or @CoachBedfordUT?” He doesn't like it when you don't get his jokes http://t.co/6jlQ2Awhyb“@ryantaylordidit: @SandlinMatthew @JD3Thousand @ChuckFnStrong Do you agree to these terms coach?” What.@TexAgs is cauliflower albino broccoli
.@NCAA hey you old ncaa how often do your punishments actually fit the crime please check a box ⬜️never ⬜️money good ⬜️Jameist Wingston.@NCAA Just to be clear would you advise the nacho boy to sell some autographs and then use the money to pay rent for a half game suspension.@NCAA I initially applauded your decision against nacho until I found out nacho was a human kid.“@dmac0505: coach what's this white stuff coming from the sky?” Don't hate, accumulate.@DrOz can you explode a buttock.“@IPutMyHornsUp: They're saying Malcom Brown might go to Cleveland. What will you do to prevent this?” I asked Obama to drone cleveland.“@ryanjlee_13: so you're saying the guys in zebra uniforms are impostors?” Why would someone do that they could get shot or et by lions.“@ryanjlee_13: What do you think of the big 12 refs?” Let me know when the big 12 gets some refs and I'll tell you
.“@IAmEricPete: What do you think of the Cleveland Browns new logo?” They put the same thought into it as they did drafting johnny mandrel.@TexAgs are snow cones made of real snow do they store it in barns full of sawdust like olden timesIs it going to snow I am supposed to go sledding w malik.“@Kowen_98: What do you think of my present? http://t.co/sNngvRz7Jp” I think whoever gave it to you is at best an amateur forgerI'm gonna be honest with you I'm pretty sure there are some snowflakes that are the same.@OU_CoachStoops Hey tough break on that skinny little qb Shane Bugle he chose us bc he likes ladies who take baths anyway hope you're good
People say Charlie do you watch downtown Abby and I say there are lots of places I can go if I want to watch rich white people talking.“@Katie_BBFan: Coach, did you approve this? http://t.co/Uz3utjKopw” Everybody knows Malcom Brown is irish so it makes sense.“@willrmalm: who punishes Coach Moorer if he breaks a core value?” Probably that old old Testament jesus.“@IPutMyHornsUp: If school gets cancelled tomorrow morning, will you still make the players work out at 5 AM?” Badass school not cancelledOh now all of a sudden you have to watch out for black ice I guess regular ice is safe now
.“@alexwchase: Hey how does your workout routine change if it snows” I flip over to Hearts on Fire by John Cafferty on my Sony walkman.“@scottfisherFOX7: Scott Fisher Says: sure” Can a leaf blower reach the speed of sound.“@u2luvntxn: Coach our daughter was accepted to McCombs this week, any advice?” Tell her not to dress like food.@CoachSumlin Hey Sumblin how many oscar nominations did this movie get do you predict a sweep http://t.co/xIEPOjXcuY.@scottfisherFOX7 can rain turn into snow above 32 degrees if it falls faster than the speed of soundCan you really fall in love with a phone.“@IPutMyHornsUp: How many core values did Jameis break at the combine?” Jameist speaks in riddlesHow do you turn your wife into a viking lady.“@kbohls: ESPN College Gameday going to Kansas for UT game next week. That a good thing?” Uh no it's not I didn't even know we had a game.@CoachSumlin Hey sumblin guess which school had second most number of players at the combine yep Louisville guess who was first not aggieJamestown Winstons may run a slow 40 but on the bright side he is a mediocre thief.“@Katie_BBFan: Coach, what would you do to change the combine?” I would start by combining things
.@TexAgs what is the biggest bag of gravel you sell it is for doing squat-jumps.“@Katie_BBFan: Do you have any favorite inspirational sayings?” Give a man a fish & he eats for a day give him dumb bells & he gets ripped.“@TexBornNRaised8: Coach how is the baseball team scoring more than the football team?” Easy they are good
.“@willrmalm: what do you think about the 5:30 A.M workouts?” I think they're about a hour late.@TexAgs aren't all oaks live oaks unless they are dead.@ArtAcevedo I choke slammed a litter bug not turning myself in.“@Katie_BBFan: Hey Coach, do you do pilates with Fozzy, Keenan and E. Acho?” I don't usually eat Italian so.@DrOz What is a safe number of veins.“@deemus99: How closely involved were you in offering 10 QB's this week?” If they don't pan out at qb maybe they'll play kicker
.“@CampbellKRoss: why don't you offer this guy http://t.co/WwsoOwIBeN” Is that Chappy from iron Eagle
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