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UNFETTERED AND UNFILTERED FAKE CHARLIE STRONG

0 Following   7,543 Followers   1,628 Tweets

Join Twitter 1/6/14

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.“@Valdeaze: Coach, how are stopping Baylor this weekend?” Maybe someone weld the gate at DKR shut
10/2
2014
.“@Coach_Solo: Coach Sumblin makes it rain with Rick Ross. Who do u make it rain with?” God make it rain. Navajo make it rain. Not coaches.Knock knock Who there? Daje.
10/1
2014
.“@SethJonesTexas: @ChuckFnStrong Let's just admit it. Baylor is unstoppable, right?” You ever seen Hassan Ridgeway when he miss breakfast?.“@TacoFetus: @ChuckFnStrong We have Ebola here in Dallas. How will that impact the Texas-OU game?” We are putting Purell in the misters.“@ReederDoug: @ChuckFnStrong Biggie or Tupac?” Old DMXPpl say Charlie are u afraid of Ebola & I say what's that & they say when u cant stop the bleeding & I'm like then yes our o-line has that.“@ashleyc_93: My sister wore an OU shirt today because she said it was "free."Any advice?” Tell her it's free to bathe in a toilet tooHello this weekend Baylor will have a real live bear puppy at DKR there is only one thing that scares bear puppies: RIPPED SLEEVE POLOSJamal Charle runs like he got ladyfingers between his toes
9/30
2014
.“@kcanderson76: Hey Coach do you think 11 am is too early for OU/TX kickoff?” I get up at 3:30am so 11am kickoff is almost bedtime.@CoachSumlin Hey Sumblin the NFL doesn't care that you have a swagcopter they care about core values and I have FIVE of them. FIVE.
9/29
2014
I enjoyed meeting today w NFL Commissioner Rogbert Gootrell I explained some new ideas to him such as lying is bad and hitting women is badCharlie Weitz sorry you got fired but maybe you'd like to come to Texas & be a co-co-offensive coordinator to our co-offensive coordinators.“@JosephT07Hookem: @ChuckFnStrong Coach is it true that you can out bench your entire offensive line?” Like suspend or lift? Yes and yes..@CoachArtBriles Hey Coach Brile can I borrow your playbook for like five minutes is there a kinkos in Waco also do you ever run the option.“@KathTX: UT wins 23-0 over KU. Dang, what'd @ChuckFnStrong feed those guys this week?” They fasted all week
9/28
2014
We will keep calling runs for Swoop because we know he is not a dynamic runner so him running is unexpected that's just smart football.“@thisismyback: ocelot, nice! I wish your offensive playbook was as expansive as your vocabulary” jokes on you I ignore the offenseWhen I got to UT we were eating with the guys and Ced Reed goes watch this & he throws a bone on the ground & Quandre pounced like a ocelot.“@CowboyTD: @ChuckFnStrong Other than first names, what else do you and Weis have in common?” We both love our mamas.“@WoodshedGary: Coach what place did Weis finish in the 4th of July hot dog contest?” Well I don't go to those but I'm guessing 1st placeOkay look before you judge Wickline was like bet you won't even try a forty three yard field goal and I was like watch this so jokes on him.“@JakeVanover: @ChuckFnStrong Thoughts on the 13-0 lead over Kansas?” Uh we are winning I guessShwoopley.“@kristiwright: what'd you say to Rose to get him to make that extra point?” I WILL KILL YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS IF YOU MISSI honestly did not know swoop could throw it that far.“@TheRealRussWee: @ChuckFnStrong any chance you got your eyes on someone who can kick a 13yrd field goal?” You know someone?As you know traveling to kansas means you cross several time zones and well we are just jet laggedThat Quandre digg pure evil I stay away from himI just can't focus w those smiling birds on Kansas helmets & I think of that looney toon with that old buzzard talkin about black eyed peasI have made my wardrobe selection specifically for the extreme weather of kansas: white mock turtleneck.“@Taylor_UT: .@ChuckFnStrong Coach, does Vicki take you to Waffle House after a win?” Like a house made of waffle is that a real thing.“@WBCFredJr: We only sing! @ChuckFnStrong: what is WBC and why are they yelling at.” Well okay but your lyrics break several core valueswhat is westboro baptist church and why are they yelling at us during our morning walk through also does god really hate football?Carry on my wayward son smoke some weed and you'll be done lay your weary head to rest you can sleep now cause you're suspended
9/27
2014
.“@rtfedell: @ChuckFnStrong how do you not get hot wearing a turtle neck t shirt in Austin Texas?” It's a mock turtleneck.“@TacoFetus: @ChuckFnStrong If u suspend BEVO, who would be the new mascot?” Probably Quandre digg you know he's very lovable but dangerous.“@TheRealRussWee: what's your opinion on the allegations that BEVO is taking downers before ever game.” He gettin pee tested tooI like driving through kansas because it's where the documentary Hoosiers was filmedOn way to Kansas the bus driver has stopped for fried pies nine times insists we call him mad dog whatever that means.“@ATXChristina: “@ChuckFnStrong: how do you get to kansas” click your heels 3x” No I don't want to set off a land tsunamihow do you get to kansasOh man Gliff Kingberry should get a modeling contract with a sponge company because that defense is porousI remember Texas techs helmets from the XFL they are great
9/26
2014
.@CoachSumlin Hey Sumblin have you thought of calling it a swigcopter bc I mean, you know.That old Sumblin needs to recruit some sit-ups.“@JBTexasEx: Here's a brief preview of @ChuckFnStrong's upcoming meeting with @nflcommish. \m/ http://t.co/lKy4KbZmqp” Where are my traps.“@tourneur50g: Coach what u going to tell Goodell at the Respect Women Summit?” Point to my core value poster, make mean face, show him out
9/25
2014
.“@dntmeswtdabohan: did you and Matthew discuss working on a major motion picture together? http://t.co/h1bOWbqF78” Yeah-True Dajetective.“@LaMigra144: @ChuckFnStrong Is all those dismissed players going to join TAMU football now?” Sumblin got enough junkies in his programAdded four extra neck veins today during clean and jerks pretty satisfied with that.@CoachArtBriles well look I figure us getting that Brooklyn Hagler from you is fair since you are going to run it up on us in a few weeks.“@TheBick3l: What do you think about Paul @finebaum saying you've lost the locker room?” That skin puppet never been in a locker room.@TexAgs how old is this tree http://t.co/fpqWM5g8eN
9/24
2014
.“@rivalmade: @henmedrano you can get them at http://t.co/eI4TGaiU1Q. We'll rip the sleeves for you coach.” A man rip his own sleeves.“@henmedrano: @ChuckFnStrong @rivalmade are these shirts being sold?” Do I look like Sack Fifth Avenue.“@johnny_323: Coach what do u say to @finebaum who says you're not the right guy for the job?” I like Finebaump he looks like a kind turtle.@YogaYogaAustin what poses to make elbows ripped.“@rivalmade: Hey @ChuckFnStrong, we made a shirt for all the guys you've canned this year. http://t.co/ruD0Mg4j9j” are the sleeves rippedPeople say Charlie is it hard to kick a player off the team & I say no it's easy I just say get out & then Kurt Bohl cleans out their locker.“@valdeaze: .@ChuckFnStrong hey Coach, what did Estelle do that sent you over the edge?” I said do something and he didn't do it
9/23
2014
.“@kbohls: Strong says "this is a good Kansas team." Hurts his credibility.” You are a great sports reporter how's my credibility nowKansas is a great basketball school we'll see how those skills translate to the gridiron this Saturday against Texas, a volleyball school.“@TexBornNRaised8: @ChuckFnStrong hey coach I live Albuquerque NM, they don't have any Longhorn gear. What should I do?” Move to Texas
9/22
2014
.“@Dhgregg3: @ChuckFnStrong we should fill our schedule with creampuffs so we look good.” Anybody caught eating creampuff is dismissedI am not shocked that Clemson is beating FSU because Sammy Watkin cannot be contained.@LSUCoachMiles looking like well --looking like a bleauxoutLuckily we do not play Oklahoma or West Virginia this year as we are in the Big Twelves southwestern division.@CoachWatsonUT did you see that play that ou just did let's do that play.@OU_CoachStoops look if this goes bad for you & people are like hey what happened you can be like I beat Bama last year I mean seriously
9/21
2014
.@LSUCoachMiles Hey FYI Texas has yet to be upset this season so.@OU_CoachStoops http://t.co/fAcQKlX302Well we almost got the shutout against BYE but that old Duke Thomas got hit on a double move thoSo I'm watching Georgia Tech run this option and I texted our OC Shawn Watson and said hey we should do the option and he's like what's that.“@r1chardr0ble5ii: @ChuckFnStrong what are you doing on your day off?” What is a dayoff.“@WhitethunderATX: @ChuckFnStrong Crickets have invaded my house. How do I get rid of them?” You have to think like a cricketOh FSU suspended Jamiss Winstons for one game how adorable.“@MrJoshPerry: There's college football today. And Texas cannot lose today, so that's good. #AMIRITE, @ChuckFnStrong?” Anything possible
9/20
2014
.@TexAgs I mean if there's a way to keep orchids alive I'm all earsI would have loved to see the confederate army soldiers faces when coach Snyder invented football as a civil war POWThose Auburnt wide receivers got baby doll handsKsu uniforms don't even have names on them they just say "former walk-on" oh and they're beating Auburnt
9/19
2014
.“@UofCFB: What is the best team in Texas? RT for #Baylor FAV for #TexasAggies” And do nothing if you vote for Texas oh look we win.“@burntson: @ChuckFnStrong If Daje gets David Ash golden wavy hair wig, will u reinstate him?” Daje need chantix for potheads not some wigDaje suspended for byeDavid Ash loves football but must quit to protect his health. I wish all my players had his passion, work ethic & wavy golden hair. Hook'emAdrien Petersons what
9/18
2014
.“@Sludwick7: @ChuckFnStrong hey Charlie, thought on playing Michigan in 2024?” Fair warning: we'll be good by thenYou can lead an o-lineman to a nutritious diet of proteins & complex carbohydrates but you can't make him stop crying literally all the timeGot another db from South Oak Cliff wherever that is. Boom. #HUZZAH.“@tkg1600: @ChuckFnStrong The coin toss is always a win-win for the Aggies! http://t.co/AFfZN19Ym3” Look who wearing a loose fit shirt.“@Parson007: @ChuckFnStrong Do you endorse this product? http://t.co/rOVdgWd4Nf” I don't even know what that is some type of sex toy ?
9/17
2014
Darren Sprolts is like Daje except you know not suspended for being Daje
9/16
2014
.@TexAgs well whatever this is has hatched send vaccines http://t.co/egEI8rn4sgThat big old Swoop came up to me and said coach what do you think I should major in and I said pharmacy because you can throw the pill.“@Banter: Hey do you have an email we can reach you at? We would love to discuss some partnership opportunities with you.” I am married..“@kacaliendo: @ChuckFnStrong Coach, can you give me a scouting report on bye week?” The enemy of my enemy is my friend think about thatTwitter please call Google ask for research on amnesia I can't remember last 24 hours.“@BillBurrell68: @ChuckFnStrong how you feeling today Coach?” Good I broke my current best in dead lift this morning
9/15
2014
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